Hachiman the Jihad
by justgivingmytwoshekel'sworth
Summary: Hachiman became a Muslim but fortunately he is not alone


ter class. Everyone was crowded around Hayama watching interracial midget porn. Hachiman was alone in one corner. He had nuffin to do so he went to the deep web.

In the deep web he saw a video "How to Kill an Infidel" he watched it and saw a man covered in black cloth. The camera then shifted to a bunch of infidels tied up to a pole. The jihadist suddenly shouted "allahu akbar!" before igniting himself, which killed everyone around him including the cameraman, so the video stopped right there.

"Cooooooooool!" Hachiman exclaimed. He had been brainwashed and is now a muslim.

He went home that day and started reading the Quran. Slowly he began to develop violence, pedophila and goat fetish.

He asked people to stop calling him Hachi and instead Hasan. This triggered Hayama, who just so happened to be a Blonde Alt-Right Aryan nationalist.

So Hayama one day decided to reveal his power level. Hayama is a big guy so he is not afraid of Hachiman beating him up.

While Hachiman was kneeling down in the hallway in the direction of Mecca, Hayama pulled him up violently and confronted him.

"Yer better stop yer degeneracy fam Islam has no place in the western world."

Hayama no! Hachiman was saddened by the islamophobia. He always assumed that everyone is as tolerant as sweden.

"Shove your bible up your bitch-mom you bloody infidel!"

Hachiman went back to praying. He has decided not to fight because Islam is a religion of peace.

But Hayama was not peaceful. He suddenly grabbed Hachiman by his collar and punched the fuck out of him.

Hachiman was gasping for air. Lucky for him, he had already prepared for these brawls and he know just the way to de-escalate things.

Hayama, in his ignorance, noticed nothing about the vest which Hachiman has strapped on.

Hachiman suddenly pulled the cord, killing both of them instantly and also a turkroach who was selling kebab by the hallway.

Seeing that the Aryan had fallen, everyone in the hallway suddenly revealed their true identities.

It seems that Occupy Democrats had brainwashed them and now everyone is a devout Muslim.

"Brother Hasan will never be forgetti-ed," Yuigaharam said as lard grease started flowing down her cheeks.

Everyone howled in anguish as the wind blown away the ashes that is left of the two. Hachiman is a hero they don't deserve but the hero they need.

Fortunately Allah was merciful so he resurrected Hachiman who returned to Earth to continue spreading good.

All the muslims in Hachiman's school rejoiced on that day. To celebrate that day they had planned to fund for a trip to Mecca. Yukinoshiite used her family's riches to open a goat-fucking prostitution ring which was so popular that even the Saudi Princes started becoming regular patrons.

Soon they had enough for the trip to Mecca.

On christmas eve they left for mecca. Thanks to Allah's divine intervention the pilot who was supposed to knock down towers was sick that day so they got a moderate muslim as pilot instead.

When they reach there the airport staff asked for jizya. Good thing they were all snackbars so the unprofessional staff ain't got a single dime.

They then went to the Kaaba where they participated in the Tawaf. A few of them got stampeded to death and to comfort the survivors over the loss of their comrades the organiser distributed free Kebabs.

Unfortunately the Kebabs were sabotaged by infidels on the way to Mecca so it contained pork. The non-halal blasphemy turned the pilgrims off so they started rioting. More people died as a result.

Hachiman did a headcount of his group. Half of his brethen perished. Good thing his closest friends, Totcyka, Yukinoshiite and Yuigaharam was still with him.

Sadly, they too were soon to be with Allah.

Totcyka was lynched by a gang of Transphobics while the other two were stoned in a Marijuana Cafe, not in a good way.

"Nooooooooooooooo!" Hachiman yelled in anguish as he watched all his comrades fell. In his grief he swore allegiance to ISIS, but was finished off by American infidel drones because god bless America.


End file.
